Lots of Tears...

This post is so ironic after the pure excitement in finally letting everyone know our good news in the last post.   Unfortunately, we found out today that we lost "Baby #2".   Very tough day with a whole lot of tears.  In reality, this was baby #4.  We lost two kiddos before Tyler was born, making him that much more of a blessing.  Today, my thankfulness for our beautiful Tyler is that much more magnified.  It also makes the hurt so much more real for what could have been, and hopefully will be again someday.  The doctor has no idea what happened this time.  Our big stepping stone, the first ultrasound, was perfect.  Great heartbeat, lots of movement...all good signs.  Dr. Potts wants us to see a fertility expert to get some additional testing done.  We already had all kinds of tests done after we lost the second baby and everything came back normal so we chalked it up to bad luck.  Since this one was so sudden and past the usual miscarriage stage, we will be tested some more to see if we can find the cause for so much struggle and pain.  We obviously don't have any problem getting pregnant (wink, wink). 

I will have surgery on Friday since I am too far along (13 weeks today) to pass the fetus.  I think Mother's Day this year is going to be a tough one.  We just have to remind ourselves how blessed we are with Tyler and everyone else in our lives.  Dad always told me "life's not fair" and that has never rung more true that it does today.

This is a tough post to write and one of the reasons we waited so long to tell everyone the good news.  It hurts to deal with it on our own, but it is even tougher when everyone else is sad too.  Please don't feel pity for us.  We have an amazing life with a ton of love and so very much to be thankful for.  We don't plan on giving up on our dream for more kids either.   God is good and will get us through this rough patch.